Poor Old Godzilla

by Janota

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lyrics

Godzilla challenged King Kong
To a game of Ping Pong
But King Kong shook his head and said “I’ll pass”
Cuz that big gorilla
Don’t play games with Godzilla
He just wants to kick his friggin’ ass

Yeah no one likes Godzilla
Not even that gorilla
He just wants to kick Godzilla’s ass...

Godzilla challenged Merlin
To a game of Curlin’
And Merlin said “That sounds good to me”
Then that wily Wizard
Cast a spell on that big lizard
And kicked his ass 99 to 3

Yeah no one likes that lizard
Not even that ol’ Wizard
He just wants to kick Godzilla’s ass...

Godzilla saw a Cyclops
Wearing shorts and high tops
And said “How ‘bout we play some one-on-one”
But that one-eyed giant
Was feeling quite defiant
And said “I’ll kick your ass cuz that’s more fun”

Even that ol’ Cyclops
The one in shorts and high tops
Only wants to kick Godzilla’s ass...

Godzilla saw a werewolf
And asked if he repairs roofs
‘Cuz every time it rains his floor gets wet
But that Lycanthrope
Just shook his head, said “nope”
Then handed him his worse ass-kicking yet

No one likes him, nope
Not even that lycanthrope
He just wants to kick Godzilla’s ass...

Godzilla saw a Bigfoot
And asked him for his input
On cooking ravioli from a can
But that big ol’ Yeti
Said “I prefer spaghetti”
Then kicked Godzilla’s ass back to Japan

Godzilla wasn’t ready
For a Yeti that likes spaghetti
And also likes to kick his friggin’ ass...

credits

released October 22, 2022

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Janota Boston, Massachusetts

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